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Jackie and Cookie Dennis
a queer power couple in their mid 70’s who stay youthful, celebrating nights out dressing up, dancing, drinking, and laughing with friends made at SAGE.
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Loretta “Cookie” Dennis and Jacqueline “Jackie” Charlot are a lively, loving queer couple in their late 70s who are active members of the SAGE community, frequenting the center about four times a week. Jackie grew up in St. Petersburg, Florida, and moved to New York at age 13, going on to become a successful college counselor/administrator for 42 years. Cookie is a New York native who grew up playing sports, running around town picking up chicks, and eventually working in the customer service industry before retirement.
Jackie (on left) and Cookie (on right) at the SAGE gala a couple years ago, dressed up and ready to dance the night away.
Growing up, Cookie was a tomboy who played basketball and baseball. When talking about her lesbian identity she claimed, “But my grandmother, she always knew. She didn't know what to call it. But my mother, God bless her soul, she wanted me to cook. She wanted me to do all this and all that. I didn’t wanna do that. I played sports, and I played basketball and baseball for many years. Organized. And I didn’t wanna [cook], so my grandmother used to say, ‘Leave my baby alone. Leave her alone. She don't want to do it? She don't have to. Let her go play. Let her go do her thing.” And my grandmother knew, but she didn’t know what to call it, and that was way back then.” Cookie spoke a lot about how she was not allowed to wear pants to school, which really bothered her. Back then, girls had to wear dresses, and she would change into pants the second she left. She shared a photo of her high school prom, where she unfortunately wasn't allowed to take her girlfriend. “That was in 1968. You couldn’t do anything. You couldn’t even wear pants to school, and if you did, you would have to take them off when you got in school. So this is my best friend - so I asked him to go with me, and he said sure. And he almost died when he see me in a dress on, you know, because I used to have to wear skirts to school, and you see me in a dress. I used to keep my hair back, but I had to get it done up for the prom”. She explained that as a senior class president, she couldn't go alone because it wasn’t allowed. When talking more about her best friend and date, she said, “He helped me out, so I’ll be forever grateful. I've known him all my life. Like, he’s always been there for me. Or, he’d try to keep me out of trouble with the ladies.”
Jackie, conversely, did not always know that she was into women, and her story is slightly more complicated. Right out of high school, she was married to a man with whom she had a son. Tragically, her ex-husband ended up cheating on her with a relative of hers. This fury and heartbreak opened Jackie up to her true interest in women around the age of 40. Jackie gave a synopsis of her life as a late adolescent and she says, “I graduated high school. I got married. Very early in the 12th grade. I had a baby and another a couple years later. I was married until 1980. As far as leading into the gay world, that didn’t happen until I was like almost 40. I became divorced and all of that and it’s kind of little by little.” About a year after Jackie had been cheated on, she started dating her first great female love until she unfortunately passed away after 13 years of being together.
Cookie wears a long, fancy dress with her hair down while standing next to her male best friend at her senior prom.
About a decade ago, Jackie and Cookie met at a queer party, where Cookie immediately tried to pursue Jackie. As Jackie tells it “We met, and one of my friends was like ‘I got somebody that I want you to meet’. You know. And I’d been by myself for a while, so she said ‘You need to meet somebody.’ And they introduced me to [Cookie]”. However, Jackie was hesitant due to Cookie’s reputation as a player. Thankfully, her friends begged her to give Cookie a chance, and Jackie finally caved for a date. Jackie explains the situation saying, “I didn’t give her my number so a couple of weeks later my friend said to me ‘Listen, that girl Cookie, you never called her. Well, she keeps calling me because she wants your number. And I said, alright, give it to her. And then she asked me out.”
Cookie (on left) and Jackie (on right) pose in an embrace, dressed up for a party.
“We’ve been together ever since. You see one you see the other.” - Cookie
Cookie and Jackie, early in their relationship, sit smiling side by side.
Jackie and Cookie were very much involved in NY's club and party scene in the 80s and 90s. Many queer clubs and bars they went to were hidden and tried to stay out of the public eye. They expressed a level of sadness that the clubs they went to don’t exist anymore and a level of surprise that many clubs and bars are now more overt and can show pride flags outside. Cookie talked about the privilege of couples that are able to dance and hold hands outside, instead of hidden inside.
Jackie posing with her son (plaid shirt) and grandchildren.
Jackie discusses her experience with still being ‘in the closet’ with some of her family members, as they are involved with the church. Jackie said, “One of them is a minister, so forget about that one. When I go home, it's just, you know, ‘How you doing?’, and you know, we talk. I just don’t bring it up. Nobody’s ever asked me anything, and I don’t bring it up. You know it’s just unsaid.” The idea of public affection is very comfortable for Cookie as opposed to Jackie. Jackie explains that it’s different for Cookie because “it’s more natural to her… and she’s technically never [did anything sexual] with a man.” When talking about young girls exploring their identity and sexuality, Jackie said, “It's also safe, I think for the young girls. Because when your mother keeps telling you, you know, you shouldn't do this, and don't go with boys now, and wait till you’re older. So if you go with a girl, it's not the same, and your mother will always let your girlfriends come over and come in your bed. You don't get to go in the room with your boyfriends and close the door with you. You know your mother wouldn’t think of letting the boy come in.” The couple enjoys spending time together getting dressed up and going to galas or events where there is dancing, partying, drinking, and friends. It is clear that their styles are totally different. Jackie can be seen in a beautiful gown, wearing makeup and luscious curls. While Cookie is arm in arm with her, wearing a stunning tailor suit, gold chains, and a cool hat. Despite their differences, SAGE has given them a space to connect with other elders who want to enjoy life and have fun.
Jackie lovingly places her hand on Cookies chest as they smile and embrace for the camera.